Oh God, who am I?

Kinja'd!!! "Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo" (thetomselleck)
08/01/2017 at 01:28 • Filed to: It's like when he owned the Celica expect now he's extremely paranoid. Dis gun be gud

Kinja'd!!!3 Kinja'd!!! 14
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My wife miss-set the sprinkler and it sprayed all over my car. I spent 20 minutes wiping it dry. But why?!? I guess I wouldn’t want all the rock chips and peeling bumper paint to be soiled by a little dirt! Heaven forbid.


DISCUSSION (14)


Kinja'd!!! S65 > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
08/01/2017 at 01:31

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My god you actually found one


Kinja'd!!! 2Fast2Furious: Rotary Powered > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
08/01/2017 at 01:38

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Hey man, protect that baby from water spots. She deserves it.


Kinja'd!!! AMGtech - now with more recalls! > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
08/01/2017 at 02:36

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What will you do during the 15 months of rain we get every fall/winter/spring!?


Kinja'd!!! Rustholes-Are-Weight-Reduction > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
08/01/2017 at 02:38

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And so it begins...


Kinja'd!!! barnie > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
08/01/2017 at 03:39

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First: The yard is your responsibility; the house is hers. Why didn’t you set the sprinkler?

2nd: You too good to use a hose? Big fancy-pants house with sprinklers? Like yer a bigshot...

3rd: Go for a drive, like to work? The car will move thru air and the car will dry. Or what is the ‘sprinkler’ spraying? acid? Ya acting like it is...

Sheesh, kids these days...

(I’m an old fart and maybe I’m the only one laughing but at myself for writing this stuff. Consider it sarcasm or drunkin ramblings. Ta fer listenin’.)


Kinja'd!!! promoted by the color red > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
08/01/2017 at 03:49

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On a related note, this describes like half of the 2000s-era MB owners I know.


Kinja'd!!! shop-teacher > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
08/01/2017 at 06:54

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Hahahaha!


Kinja'd!!! Tripper > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
08/01/2017 at 07:19

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Zoidberg and Sportcross sittin’ in a tree...


Kinja'd!!! Rico > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
08/01/2017 at 08:22

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To be fair sprinklers/sprinkler water is TERRIBLE on paint so you did good!


Kinja'd!!! Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
08/01/2017 at 09:27

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Alright yall. We’ve lost him. A mercy killing is the only option. Like ol yeller

Also dibs.


Kinja'd!!! fintail > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
08/01/2017 at 09:37

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Sounds like you’re me - sprinkler water is virtually guaranteed to leave spots, and if there’s one thing I can’t stand - especially on glass.

Are you keeping the window deflector vent things? When I see those, I always assume “smoker”.


Kinja'd!!! Nothing > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
08/01/2017 at 10:04

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The other day we went out for lunch. Nice day, so we sat on the patio. Sprinklers came on and get the back of the truck wet, behind the rear wheels. I commented to my wife about how dirty it was getting, and we laughed it off. Mostly. Inside I was dying, just a little.

Two spots down was a lifted 4 door Wrangler with all the fixins. Dudebro comes out with his family, stares at the sprinklers, at his Jeep, then at the building. He stood there long enough contemplating his situation that by the time we paid our bill and left, he was STILL standing there looking at it. I’m not sure if he was trying to use mind power to turn off the sprinklers, dry his car, or kill the individual responsible for turning them on.


Kinja'd!!! Tapas > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
08/01/2017 at 10:12

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There’s only one solution. Sleep in the hatch and protect it round the clock.


Kinja'd!!! sm70- why not Duesenberg? > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
08/01/2017 at 20:26

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I’m bracing myself for a year or so of jokes about what you think people who own luxury cars are like.